From day one, my sister Tasha insisted baby Podey was a girl. I have to say I felt the same as her. Luke was convinced a boy...

After I surgery, when I was coming out of anesthesia..I had the most vivid dream. I remember I was laying on bright green grass with lots of green trees and bushes. It was so bright and sunny out. I was wearing yellow and so was the little girl sitting next to me. We were talking. She had long, very blonde hair. At first, I thought it was Norah, but looking now the hair color was far to blonde to be Norah. I didnt get a clear vision of her face...but she was hugging me...and the last thing she said to me before I woke up was "I am going to take care of you, Mommy"...and now, I know that was our precious baby girl. What a gift it was to have that dream. Someday, I will know if it was the anethesia or a vision from God...but for now, I can hold on to the hope that I will get to meet our little one if I could enter the gates of Heaven. And I will strive for that every day here during my life on Earth..

For me and Luke, life begins at conception. I felt that baby. I saw the growth. I felt the stretching and growing pains, the hormonal changes, bodily changes...I know that baby was very much alive inside me.

And while we mourn our loss here on Earth...I  am thankful that I can snuggle and hold my sweet babies that God has gifted and trusted me to raise here...

...and I look forward to the day when I can meet our sweet baby Podey and hold him or her in my arms for the first time.